In connection with our project, we recommend reading material that will help you become yourself and therefore a better parent.
Playing and Reality, by renowned British pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, is a classic that delves into how children use play to discover themselves and engage with the world. Winnicott introduces parents to the profound idea that play is essential for healthy emotional and psychological development. He describes how children find comfort and security in “transitional objects”—such as blankets, toys, or teddies—that help them bridge the gap between their inner fantasies and the reality they’re learning to navigate. Far more than mere objects, these items are symbols of safety, stability, and connection, providing reassurance as children explore the unknown.
Central to Winnicott’s theory is the concept of the “good enough parent,” a term that liberates parents from the pressure of striving for perfection. According to Winnicott, a good enough parent isn’t flawless; rather, they provide a nurturing, stable environment where a child feels safe to express their needs, take emotional risks, and, most importantly, play. Good enough parents are attuned and responsive, yet they also give their children the freedom to experience small frustrations and solve challenges on their own. In doing so, they help children build resilience and confidence, qualities essential for navigating life independently.
Winnicott emphasizes that when children have the freedom to play, they can discover their “true self” rather than a “false self” shaped to meet external expectations. Play, in Winnicott’s view, is a powerful way for children to explore who they are, express their natural impulses, and develop creativity and problem-solving skills. He suggests that good enough parents don’t micromanage play or impose rigid structures, but instead support their child’s unstructured, imaginative exploration of the world. This type of nurturing helps children feel emotionally secure, fostering a sense of authenticity that strengthens as they grow.
If you look for an interesting theoretical, but also practical book to learn more about parent- child relationship, look for this book.
Also available in Hungarian:
Játszás és valóság, Animula Kft. 1999.
in German:
Vom Spiel zur Kreativität, 2018, Klett-Cotta; 17. Druckaufl.
Alison Gopnik's book, "The Gardener and the Carpenter" talks about how we should do parenting. With the metaphor, which is in the title of the book, Gopnik compares child raising with two options: becoming a carpenter, who is making furniture, and forming our child to a design - or, and not surprisingly she supports this idea - be a gardener of our child, working on the environment, conditions, small pruning here and there, to make our children happy and self-confident adults.
In her book, she talks about learning, play, technology, love - and even grandmothers.
Gopnik, who is a famous cognitive researcher, naturally supports her ideas with scientific findings - but does it with a style and easiness to make it an enjoyable read with a coffee, or a cold drink during these really hot times.
And watch out - we are going to talk about more books of Gopnik, as she has written some world-famous books on babies as well.
"Love is a verb" is a collection of true stories about love in a thousand faces, from the experience of a relationship expert who has been practicing for over forty years. The book covers not just romantic love, but every conceivable form of love, because love can come from anywhere. It is an unexpected and diverse emotion, the driving force behind everything. Gary Chapman presents us with life from the perspective of those he has listened to in his own work. We meet siblings, family, friends, reunions, divorce, grief, or even how the meeting of two strangers or the help of one can be a deep and defining bond in a person's life. We cry and we laugh, but either way our hearts are warmed by the reality.
"The deepest emotional need of every human being is to love and be loved in return. When we feel the love of others, we are empowered to unleash our potential, but without it, we are simply struggling to survive."
This is the first book on Gary Chapman's theory of Love Languages. The five Love Languages; Physical Touch, Quality Time, Giving, Kindness and Words of Appreciation. Learning them has helped hundreds of thousands of couples, parents, teenagers and friends to feel loved and to LOVE in a way that makes the recipient of their love happy. The book is available in parent-child, teen, single, men's edition.
A light, entertaining book with lots of humour. The author uses examples from his personal life to illustrate the similarities between parenting and leadership roles and strategies. We may not agree with everything he says, but the main lesson of the book is an extremely important message: deep self-awareness and a stable set of values are the keys to success in both areas.
Mindfulness is a popular topic in mental health care today, and for good reason. Enjoying the present, letting go, peace and awareness are essential tools in an age of anxiety, increased stimuli and performance pressures. Máté Szondy helps us do this by guiding us through the path of Conscious Presence with playful exercises, diagrams and explanations. Mindfullness is not based on the exclusion of thoughts, but on letting go of all natural thoughts and feelings, without judging them as bad or good; we just LIVE. Enjoying, feeling the many moments, the sum of which is Life.
During the summer holiday it is especially important to provide opportunities for our children to spend time in the nature.
If we need any scientific background for the why-s - other than our basic instinct that this is a good idea - with Neo, the cat's reference, we can turn to the famous book of Richard Louv:The Last Child in the Woods - Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder.
In this book Louv explores the concept of "nature-deficit disorder," a term he coined to describe the disconnection between children and nature in modern society. Louv argues that this separation has detrimental effects on physical and mental health, creativity, and emotional well-being. He provides evidence from various studies and anecdotes, advocating for increased outdoor play and interaction with nature. Louv calls for changes in education, urban planning, and parenting to restore the vital human-nature connection.
As Louv states in the book: "The young don't demand dramatic adventures or vacations in Africa. They need only a taste, a sight, a sound, a touch to reconnect with that receding world of the senses"
This Hungarian book is about parents, for their grown-up children. The author describes the different types of parenting through exciting examples and therapeutic cases: the amber, the parenting parent, the coach, the cool guy, the martyr, the glass tip, the super parent, the aggressor, and finally, the encouraging parenting behaviour. We can learn what we bring from our childhood, but in doing so we also get a huge help in how not to pass on our wounds and to help our own family, including ourselves, more.
Human connection, love and mate relationships are beautiful basic human needs and it is perfectly natural to desire them, but with unhealthy patterns they can unfortunately be harmful and painful. There's a big difference between Free Cooperation and Compulsive Dependence; it's not all the same whether we need to be with each other, even if we harm each other, or whether two free, fulfilled and happy people choose to live together. Codependency affects 98% of society, goes far beyond the relationship issue and makes our lives difficult every day, but the therapist couple believe that a full recovery is possible. The book offers solutions and opportunities for healthy, safe, constructive love. They focus on healing co-dependency, providing compelling case histories and practical activities to help readers heal early trauma and transform themselves and their primary relationships.
Children's Loves, the first book in the SCHOOL OF CONCERNED PARENTS series, emerged from the author's taped evening conversations with a group of parents. Worried about what is happening to their children, at home, at school, in society. Anxious because they don't rest but ask to learn.
Starting each time from a specific parenting question, placing it in its general context and offering theoretical and scientific keys, the dialogue then, the book now, tries to provide answers and create new questions. All this looks, and is, very serious, but, as the reader who is left in the mood of each "evening" will find, the narratives are often comic-tragic, and the verse-myths have something of the Socratic midwifery irony, of self and others.
How much more so when the subject is childhood loves or, in other words: What is the sexual instinct? When and how is it activated? Are we born with a gender, or is it made? Two, three, or seven sexes? Is homosexuality a pathology? How naked should we walk in front of children? What do we tell them about our love affairs? What does the sexual provocation of teenagers mean?... And many other unacknowledged things!
